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Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

What Is And What Can Be

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I’ve begun to notice lately that there are two distinct views of the universe. The “what is” view and the “what can be” view.

Each of us lives in a continually unfolding series of moments…moments that we never get back. The difference between these two groups is how they view these moments.

You can usually spot a “what is” person by a persistent stream of updates about how good they feel or how bad they feel, how good they look or how badly they look, how much they like the weather or how much they don’t like the weather.

A “what is” person sees the current moment as the end. The final step in the series of events that led up to it, always making sure that everyone knows how this moment makes them feel.

Contrast this with what I’ve labeled the “what can be” view of the universe.

The “what can be” view looks at the current moment not as the end, or the result of all that has happened, but rather as the beginning. This view says “I don’t care what got me here, I just care about what is possible from this moment on.”

The “what can be” experiences the same moments as the “what is”. The difference is in how they see those moments. If we look at our current reality and see only the current reality and what led to it, we are allowing our past to hold us hostage and leaving our happiness to luck. We are focused inwardly on protecting and building up our own ego.

But if we see our current reality as the starting point on the way to what is possible, we take ownership of our own lives. We don’t enslave ourselves to the troubles of the past. Rather, we set our minds free to see the tremendous possibilities in this world. We can turn our focus to helping and serving others, rather than serving only the self.

If you find yourself focused inward: in pain, self critical, or otherwise using your current moments to reflect only on how they affect you, I invite you to join me in trying a new way. For a few minutes today, ignore how your life makes you feel, physically and mentally, and spend those moments focused on the possibilities that could come from this moment.

Focus on the positive changes you are capable of. Focus on the achievements you’d like to make. Focus on who you can love, who you can forgive, and who you can help. Anything but how this moment makes you feel.

You don’t need to focus on how you feel, because whatever got you here can’t be changed. If you focus on what is possible, just for a few minutes, trust me…the way you feel will be so, so much better.

Have a joyful day!

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Have A Joyful Friday

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We’ve gotten into some pretty heavy stuff this week here. So for today, my solitary thought for you is this: See the absolute beauty in everything that surrounds you.

For today, ignore the ugly in the world. Just appreciate and love all day today. Do something unexpectedly kind for someone, and expect nothing in return.

Let today be simple. Let it be joyful. Just let it be.

Have a joyful day!

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How To Love Life

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If you’re feeling frustrated, it means you’re holding a vibe that aligns with a reality that you don’t want.

How do you create the vibe of frustration? It’s pretty easy. Simply observe your reality, and then resist or reject some aspect of it. Look at your financial situation, and resist it. Look at your job, and resist it. Look at your relationship, and resist it.

Once you’re holding the frustration vibe, you’ve locked in your resistance. So reality responds accordingly. It says, “Oh… you’re holding a vibe that aligns with what you don’t want. So here’s plenty more of what you don’t want. You’re welcome to experience that for as long as you like!”

You may think that the solution is for reality to adjust itself first — or for you to force your external world to comply with your wishes — and then you’ll be able to let go of the frustration. But does that actually work? Nope.

The more you try to work on the external world while still resisting parts of it, the longer you perpetuate frustration. Even if you manage to seemingly fix some part of your external reality, another part will soon break. Or you’ll pull ahead and then fall back… again and again. Ever experience this disconnect between what you observe and what you expect or predict?

What you observe in the world; the way people are, the things society does, the way politicians lie, the way the weather changes; is reality. Why predict that the weather is going to be sunny when you can wait and observe how the weather actually is? Why expect that someone is going to act the way you want them to when you could just wait and see how they actually act?

If your observations and your predictions disagree, does it really make sense to have them do battle inside your mind? Of course not.

What’s the simplest way to end this inner conflict? How about if prediction surrenders to observation? Let observation win, let reality be what it is, let your observations be as they are, and decline to fight yourself if your predictions disagree. Instead, let your predictive abilities learn and grow in response to your latest observations. Don’t cling to inaccurate predictions.

When you allow yourself to wallow in frustration, you’re continuing to wage war between prediction and observation. And wars of this nature have a tendency to self-perpetuate. This means that you’ll continue to find new sources of conflict even as old ones dry up. As long as you believe that it’s okay for prediction and observation to fight, your mind will continue to feed the battle.

When you realize that this conflict is pointless, which indeed it is, then you can consciously end it. To do this, one side must surrender, and the losing side must be prediction. Otherwise you’ll just fall further out of alignment with truth, and you’ll attract even greater frustrations as you widen the gap between prediction and observation. It’s better to correct your predictive errors when the fighting isn’t so intense.

Once you surrender, both sides will put down their weapons, and the fighting will end. Instead of feeling frustrated, now you can start to vibe with acceptance… and eventually, with peace and flow and happiness.

As you continue to surrender the unwinnable battles of frustration, you’ll gain access to even more resourceful vibes. When your predictive abilities and your observational abilities cease fighting, you have more resources to devote to your creative abilities. Instead of having your creativity diverted to the conflict, you can create what you desire instead.

If you want to love life, then allow yourself to love your life. Love it like the last hug you’ll ever get. Love it for the way it is, right now. Free it from your predictions. Observe the reality around you and squeeze it hard.

Have a joyful day!

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The Cigar Smoke Of A Man

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I turned on the television last night. Something that doesn’t happen all that often in my life. I was astounded by the volume of political advertisements.

Disgusted is perhaps a more appropriate word. I turned it off quickly and went outside to sit under a tree, where I sit now, pondering the role politics ought to play in a truly meaningful life.

I used to be very heavily involved in politics, but I walked away from it all, including my leadership position with my political party because it had become so hateful.

We live in a country so divided it is hard to imagine that we can come together again, politically. Both parties will find any way they can to pit “us” against “them.” If they can get more than half the people to side with them in hating less than half the people, they’ll win their election and their power.

For years, I played this game. I tried everything I possibly could to get my team ahead of their team. When we won, I was happy. When we didn’t, I was devastated. And angry.

But what is it that forces us to pay attention to politics? Nothing.

Politics and elections cannot change a single thing about our lives. Like anything else, they can only affect us if we let them…if we choose to follow them and allow our minds to be washed into believing that we need to hate in order to win. When I realized that I was letting politics get in the way of loving my fellow man, I knew it was time to walk away.

Thoreau said: “In one half hour I can walk off to some portion of the earth’s surface where a man does not stand from one year’s end to another and there consequently politics are not, for they are but as the cigar smoke of a man.”

Politics do not matter. Who wins in November doesn’t matter. Who wins in 4 years doesn’t matter. It’s all the cigar smoke of a man; inconsequential to true happiness at a level deep enough to give real meaning to our lives.

As I sit here surrounded by natural beauty, I realize that no election can take away the beauty of a hundred year old pine tree surrounded by bright blue skies. No campaign can take away the undeniably sweet smell of leaves in the deep woods.  And no divisive campaign commercial will ever again keep me from loving every one of my fellow human beings with all my heart.

Have a joyful day!

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This Picture Says It All

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Self Reflection On Consciousness

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In yesterday’s guest post, Steve Pavlina taught about the levels of consciousness (think…how awake we are to the reality of the world) that human beings can encounter. Each one of us encounters the same world when we open our eyes each morning, but as we learned yesterday, what we see when we look at it can be so very different.

I spent quite a bit of time contemplating these levels, trying to decide where I fell on the scale. I found myself trying to find examples of how I could be at the highest level possible, but that really isn’t the point.

So instead of giving in to pride and working from the highest level down, I decided to start from the lowest level and work up…eliminating them as I went. Once I could not eliminate a level, that would be the area of the lowest level of my consciousness…the thing holding me back most. Then, once I reached the higher levels, I’d attempt to identify the highest level that I had reached, at least at some point in my lifetime.

Going through the lowest few was easy. Shame, guilt, apathy, and grief don’t feel like anything that I struggle with. Desire was where I hit the first bump in the road. Desire is something that most of us have, but there are certainly parts of it, such as materialism and craving for money, that affect the decisions I make in life. This is where I see my lowest level, and probably the most significant thing that holds me back from higher levels.

Anger and pride didn’t resonate at all, and I feel as if I have moved through courage and neutrality. For me, I felt as if the most appropriate level, or the one that I lived in the most, was willingness. There are certain times when I feel as if I have reached into levels above that, and I definitely feel as if I am moving from willingness into acceptance this year. Some examples of that move are this blog that you’re reading right now…I’ve begun to accept that my role in this world is to help others discover what it feels like to live joyfully, and I’m making moves to that end.

Some of the things I’ve done, and the projects I’ve been contemplating, might even reach into the level of “Reason”. And I know that I’ve had brief encounters with the level of “love”. But I can also see how my lowest level, desire, is holding me back from making even more moves into these higher realms.

I hope that you can take some time to reflect yourself on where you are on this scale. It was incredibly eye-opening for me to see a description of how I look at the world, and also to remember that others around me are very likely at different levels, and therefore see things differently than I do. It also helped me realize what might be keeping me from really jumping forward.

If you have done any self reflection on this topic, I’d love to hear about it. If you’d like to share with our whole readership, feel free to tell us about it in the comments section below. Otherwise, send me an email to tell me more about it!

Have a joyful day!

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Levels Of Consciousness

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Note from Andrew: Today’s post is a guest post from Steve Pavlina. Visit his website at www.stevepavlina.com. It’s long, but it’s very, very insightful. Even if you’re one of the thousands who normally delete these messages every morning, save this one.

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In the book Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, there’s a hierarchy of levels of human consciousness. It’s an interesting paradigm. If you read the book, it’s also fairly easy to figure out where you fall on this hierarchy based on your current life situation.

From low to high, the levels of consciousness are: shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride, courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace, enlightenment.

While we can pop in and out of different levels at various times, usually there’s a predominant “normal” state for us. If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’re at least at the level of courage because if you were at a lower level, you’d likely have no conscious interest in personal growth.

I’ll go over these levels in order, mostly focusing on the ones between courage and reason, since that’s the range where you’re most likely to land. The labels are Hawkins’. The descriptions of each level are based on Hawkins’ descriptions but blended with my own thoughts. Hawkins defines this as a logarithmic scale, so there are far fewer people at the higher levels than at the lower ones. An increase from one level to another will result in enormous change in your life.

Shame – Just a step above death. You’re probably contemplating suicide at this level. Either that or you’re a serial killer. Think of this as self-directed hatred.

Guilt – A step above shame, but you still may be having thoughts of suicide. You think of yourself as a sinner, unable to forgive yourself for past transgressions.

Apathy – Feeling hopeless or victimized. The state of learned helplessness. Many homeless people are stuck here.

Grief – A state of perpetual sadness and loss. You might drop down here after losing a loved one. Depression. Still higher than apathy, since you’re beginning to escape the numbness.

Fear – Seeing the world as dangerous and unsafe. Paranoia. Usually you’ll need help to rise above this level, or you’ll remain trapped for a long time, such as in an abusive relationship.

Desire – Not to be confused with setting and achieving goals, this is the level of addiction, craving, and lust — for money, approval, power, fame, etc. Consumerism. Materialism. This is the level of smoking and drinking and doing drugs.

Anger – the level of frustration, often from not having your desires met at the lower level. This level can spur you to action at higher levels, or it can keep you stuck in hatred. In an abusive relationship, you’ll often see an anger person coupled with a fear person.

Pride – The first level where you start to feel good, but it’s a false feeling. It’s dependent on external circumstances (money, prestige, etc), so it’s vulnerable. Pride can lead to nationalism, racism, and religious wars. Think Nazis. A state of irrational denial and defensiveness. Religious fundamentalism is also stuck at this level. You become so closely enmeshed in your beliefs that you see an attack on your beliefs as an attack on you.

Courage – The first level of true strength. I’ve made a previous post about this level: Courage is the Gateway. This is where you start to see life as challenging and exciting instead of overwhelming. You begin to have an inkling of interest in personal growth, although at this level you’ll probably call it something else like skill-building, career advancement, education, etc. You start to see your future as an improvement upon your past, rather than a continuation of the same.

Neutrality – This level is epitomized by the phrase, “live and let live.” It’s flexible, relaxed, and unattached. Whatever happens, you roll with the punches. You don’t have anything to prove. You feel safe and get along well with other people. A lot of self-employed people are at this level. A very comfortable place. The level of complacency and laziness. You’re taking care of your needs, but you don’t push yourself too hard.

Willingness – Now that you’re basically safe and comfortable, you start using your energy more effectively. Just getting by isn’t good enough anymore. You begin caring about doing a good job — perhaps even your best. You think about time management and productivity and getting organized, things that weren’t so important to you at the level of neutrality. Think of this level as the development of willpower and self-discipline. These people are the “troopers” of society; they get things done well and don’t complain much. If you’re in school, then you’re a really good student; you take your studies seriously and put in the time to do a good job. This is the point where your consciousness becomes more organized and disciplined.

Acceptance – Now a powerful shift happens, and you awaken to the possibilities of living proactively. At the level of willingness you’ve become competent, and now you want to put your abilities to good use. This is the level of setting and achieving goals. I don’t like the label “acceptance” that Hawkins uses here, but it basically means that you begin accepting responsibility for your role in the world. If something isn’t right about your life (your career, your health, your relationship), you define your desired outcome and change it. You start to see the big picture of your life more clearly. This level drives many people to switch careers, start a new business, or change their diets.

Reason – At this level you transcend the emotional aspects of the lower levels and begin to think clearly and rationally. Hawkins defines this as the level of medicine and science. The way I see it, when you reach this level, you become capable of using your reasoning abilities to their fullest extent. You now have the discipline and the proactivity to fully exploit your natural abilities. You’ve reached the point where you say, “Wow. I can do all this stuff, and I know I must put it to good use. So what’s the best use of my talents?” You take a look around the world and start making meaningful contributions. At the very high end, this is the level of Einstein and Freud. It’s probably obvious that most people never reach this level in their entire lives.

Love – I don’t like Hawkins’ label “love” here because this isn’t the emotion of love. It’s unconditional love, a permanent understanding of your connectedness with all that exists. Think compassion. At the level of reason, you live in service to your head. But that eventually becomes a dead end where you fall into the trap of over-intellectualizing. You see that you need a bigger context than just thinking for its own sake. At the level of love, you now place your head and all your other talents and abilities in service to your heart (not your emotions, but your greater sense of right and wrong — your conscience). I see this as the level of awakening to your true purpose. Your motives at this level are pure and uncorrupted by the desires of the ego. This is the level of lifetime service to humanity. Think Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Dr. Albert Schweitzer. At this level you also begin to be guided by a force greater than yourself. It’s a feeling of letting go. Your intuition becomes extremely strong. Hawkins claims this level is reached only by 1 in 250 people during their entire lifetimes.

Joy – A state of pervasive, unshakable happiness. Eckhart Tolle describes this state in The Power of Now. The level of saints and advanced spiritual teachers. Just being around people at this level makes you feel incredible. At this level life is fully guided by synchronicity and intuition. There’s no more need to set goals and make detailed plans — the expansion of your consciousness allows you to operate at a much higher level. A near-death experience can temporarily bump you to this level.

Peace – Total transcendence. Hawkins claims this level is reached only by one person in 10 million.

Enlightenment – The highest level of human consciousness, where humanity blends with divinity. Extremely rare. The level of Krishna, Buddha, and Jesus. Even just thinking about people at this level can raise your consciousness.

I think you’ll find this model worthy of reflection. Not only people but also objects, events, and whole societies can be ranked at these levels. Within your own life, you’ll see that some parts of your life are at different levels than others, but you should be able to identify your current overall level. You might be at the level of neutrality overall but still be addicted to smoking (level of desire). The lower levels you find within yourself will serve as a drag that holds the rest of you back. But you’ll also find higher levels in your life. You may be at the level of acceptance and read a book at the level of reason and feel really inspired. Think about the strongest influences in your life right now. Which ones raise your consciousness? Which ones lower it?

One thing I like about these levels of consciousness is that I can trace back over my own life and see how I’ve been moving through them. I remember being stuck at the level of guilt for a long time – as a child I was indoctrinated into a belief system where I was a helpless sinner, being judged according to the standards of someone at the level of love or higher. From there I graduated to the state of apathy, feeling numb to the whole thing. By high school I had reached the level of pride — I was a straight-A student, captain of the Academic Decathlon team, showered with accolades and awards, but I became dependent on them. I hit the level of Courage in my late teens, but the courage was very unfocused, and I overdid it and got myself into all sorts of trouble. I then spent about a year in neutrality and moved through willingness and acceptance during my 20s with a lot of conscious effort. At present I’m at the level of reason and getting closer and closer to completing the leap to love. I experience the state of love more and more often, and it’s guiding many of my decisions already, but it hasn’t yet stuck as my natural state. I’ve also experienced the state of joy for days at a time, but never with any permanence yet. That state is a pervasive feeling of natural euphoria, as if I’m exploding on the inside with positive energy. It literally forces me to smile. I’ve been in that state for most of this morning, probably because I haven’t eaten anything yet today (I find it easier to hit that state of consciousness when I eat lightly or not at all).

We’ll naturally fluctuate between multiple states throughout the course of any given week, so you’ll probably see a range of 3-4 levels where you spend most of your time. One way to figure out your “natural” state is to think about how you perform under pressure. If you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice because that’s what’s inside. What comes out of you when you get squeezed by external events? Do you become paranoid and shut down (fear)? Do you start yelling at people (anger)? Do you become defensive (pride)? What happens to me under pressure is that I become hyper-analytical, but recently I just had a pressure situation where I handled it mostly by intuition, which was a big change for me. This tells me I’m getting close to the unconditional love state because in that state, intuition can be effectively accessed even under pressure.

Everything in your environment will have an effect on your level of consciousness. TV. Movies. Books. Web sites. People. Places. Objects. Food. If you’re at the level of reason, watching TV news (which is predominantly at the levels of fear and desire) will temporarily lower your consciousness. If you’re at the level of guilt, TV news will actually raise it up.

Progressing from one level to the next requires an enormous amount of energy. I wrote about this previously when discussing quantum leaps. Without conscious effort or the help of others, you’ll likely just stay at your current level until some outside force comes into your life.

Notice the natural progression of levels, and consider what happens when you try to short-cut the process. If you try to reach the level of reason before mastering self-discipline (willingness) and goal-setting (acceptance), you’ll be too disorganized and unfocused to use your mind to its full extent. If you try to push yourself to the level of love before you’ve mastered reason, you’ll suffer from gullibility and may end up in a cult.

Going up even one level can be extremely hard; most people don’t do so in their entire lives. A change in just one level can radically alter everything in your life. This is why people below the level of courage aren’t likely to progress without external help. Courage is required to work on this consciously; it comes down to repeatedly betting your whole reality for the chance to become more conscious and aware. But whenever you reach that next level, you realize clearly that it was a good bet. For example, when you hit the level of courage, all your past fears and false pride seem silly to you now. When you reach the level of acceptance (setting and achieving goals), you look back on the level of willingness and see you were like a mouse running on a treadmill — you were a good runner, but you didn’t pick a direction.

I think the most important work we can do as human beings is to raise our individual level of consciousness. When we do this, we spread higher levels of consciousness to everyone around us. Imagine what an incredible world this would be if we could at least get everyone to the level of acceptance. According to Hawkins 85% of the people on earth live below the level of courage.

When you temporarily experience the higher levels, you can see where you must go next. You have one of those moments of clarity where you understand that things have to change. But when you sink into the lower levels, that memory becomes clouded.

We have to keep consciously taking ourselves back to the sources that can help us complete the next leap. Each step requires different solutions. I recall when making the shift from neutrality to willingness, I listened to time management tapes almost every day. I immersed myself in sources created by people at the level of willingness until I eventually shifted. But a book on time management will be of little use to someone who’s at the level of pride; they’ll reject the very notion with a lot of defensiveness. And time management is meaningless to someone at the level of peace. But you can’t hit the higher levels if you haven’t mastered the basics first. Jesus was a carpenter. Gandhi was a lawyer. Buddha was a prince. We all have to start somewhere.

Look at this hierarchy with an open mind and see if it leads you to new insights that may help you take the next leap in your own life. No levels are any more right or wrong than others. Try not to get your ego wrapped up in the idea of being at any particular level, unless you’re currently at the level of pride of course.

Have a joyful day!

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Expressing Your Love

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Have you ever felt such an overpowering feeling of love that you needed people to direct it toward?

Although love is a very natural feeling, when we experience it, it is sometimes easier to keep it to ourselves. We assume that the others in our life know how we feel about them, so we don’t take every opportunity to tell them. Men are especially good at this.

But if there’s one thing that I know, it is that you can’t assume anything. If I feel love for my wife and don’t express it to her, I can’t assume that she knows that I felt it. Who am I to expect her to read my mind?

When this goes on too long in any relationship, whether it is a marriage, a friendship, or even between co-workers, you run the risk of bad feelings and resentment building up between you. Even though there may have been plenty of love between you, when it goes unexpressed, it is no different than if there was no love at all.

On the other hand, expressing love can be contagious. If there was one person that you wanted to tell that you love them, who would that be? Chances are, this person is someone who you think of as a loving person. Those who give love, get love.

So how do you start? If you want to be a loving person, and you want to feel an overwhelming love for those in your life so that you feel compelled to express it to them, how do you encourage those feelings?

I’m not sure that there is a perfect answer, but I know one thing that helps. Stop judging others. When you stop assigning meaning to the things that others do and just accept them for who they are, your negative feelings towards them melt away. You begin to see all the wonderful things about them, instead of just seeing the things that drive you nuts.

Your love for others can also be hidden under your beliefs. Beliefs like “If I let others know how I feel, I’ll get hurt” and “Real men don’t express their emotions” can cause you to hold back. If you remove those beliefs, you open yourself up to this overwhelming love for all humans.

When we are in touch with who we really are and in touch with who others really are—without any judgments or evaluations—all there is is love.  There’s nothing better.  Try it and see for yourself.

Have a joyful day!

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Stop And Smell The Roses

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It is absolutely incredible what you can pick up if you just pay attention. It is also incredible what you can miss if you don’t.

Our minds are equipped with something called the “Reticular Activating System.” This RAS serves to help us become aware of something if it is important, but lets us filter out things that aren’t essential.

There is too much surrounding us, in our memory, and in our thoughts, to pay full attention to all of it at every moment. This is why you can pass the same sign alongside the road every day, but not even remember what it says. It’s also why you probably weren’t paying any attention to the way your upper lip feels against your teeth until I mentioned it right now.

While the RAS serves us in many ways, it can also isolate us. When we give importance to our thoughts about the past and the future, we’re choosing to let those thoughts occupy our immediate awareness. Have you ever stared right at someone while they talked and not heard a word they said because you were thinking about something else? Or driven all the way to work without noticing if any of your surroundings were different than the day before?

In these ways, we can become very alone in our thoughts. This is the essence of the old saying “stop and smell the roses.” When you get out of your own head for a moment and simply look around, you’ll notice all sorts of things that you hadn’t seen before. You’ll notice opportunities. You’ll notice danger. Most importantly, you’ll notice people.

You’ll notice the expressions on their faces. Their body language. The way they interact with others.

In these moments, when we observe the world around us, our hearts are opened to be touched by the love that connects us all.

Have a joyful day!

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Resolving Conflict Without Anger

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Conflict has always been a part of human nature. In fact, it has always existed in all mammal species…humans have just perfected the art.

With our higher level thinking, we are able to argue over things far less consequential than which of us gets the best mate or protecting our children. Like which way the toilet paper should hang.

With the inevitability of conflict in our lives, the challenge for us is not learning to avoid it, but rather, learning to understand it, use it when necessary, and resolve it without destroying any of our precious personal relationships.

Conflicts between people emerge when people have different needs, wants, values, or interests. These differing feelings simmer until some event brings this difference to a boil, escalating it to a level high enough that the parties either decide to resolve it or part ways.

Think back to your last bitter conflict. Did it play out this way?

People are always going to have different needs, wants, values and interests. Trying to resolve conflicts at this level would mean that everyone would give up their own desires. It would be like truly changing your desire for the way the toilet paper hangs to match that of your significant other. Or changing your political views to match those of a bitter enemy. If you agree on everything, there’s no conflict, right? Pretty unlikely.

If this isn’t the level at which we can effectively manage conflicts, then perhaps the triggering events are where we can find some resolution.

The next time you experience one of these triggering events, watch your behavior. Step outside yourself into the “third party observer” mode and look at yourself. Do you feel angry? Sad? Frustrated? Apathetic?

Do you become defensive about your desire, or do you begin to look for common ground? Do you lament the fact that you might have to compromise? Or look for ways to manipulate the other party to see your way of thinking? Do you enjoy this opportunity to engage in battle or does it make you uncomfortable?

When this triggering event happens, such as your spouse putting the toilet paper on the wrong way again, or your political foe making statements that you feel are an attack on your core values, you have a choice to make.

Will you deal with your own feelings, or will you try to make someone else change to suit them?

When something triggers a conflict out of a difference of individuals, our natural tendency is to try to change the underlying thoughts and feelings causing the discord. Make everyone agree, then the conflict will be resolved.

But what if we just dealt with the triggering event, instead of trying to change someone to make them agree?

I am a firm believer that each person is given the liberty to live as they choose. To hold their own views, thoughts, and desires, and to act on them as they deem appropriate. No other individual gets to decide for me.

So why do I need to decide for them? Why do I expect that any other person would be the same as me? What if I just accepted them for who they are and appreciated the differences?

There would be no more right and wrong. No more hurt feelings, passive-aggressiveness, anger, bitterness, or frustration.

Just love.

Have a joyful day!

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