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Posts Tagged ‘Worry’

How To Stop Worrying

In a previous post, I illustrated in a somewhat silly way how we worry way too much about things we can’t control.

But if you find yourself trapped in a bad spot, our minds are very prone to fall into a worrisome state.  It will happen to every one of us. Maybe things at work aren’t going well, so you start to worry about a paycheck. Or your partner is acting strangely and you worry that they may be unhappy or unfaithful. Or something isn’t going as planned, so you begin to worry about what the outcome will be.

How To Stop Worrying

When I find myself worrying about something, I go through a few steps to put a stop to it quickly.

  1. Listen to your thoughts. If you want to stop worrying, you need to listen to your thoughts. What are they saying to you?
  2. Stop. Once you acknowledge the worrisome thoughts, decide to stop them, just for now.
  3. Think Rationally. Will worrying actually solve the problem? (No). Will it instead cause you to panic or be anxious, possibly making the problem worse? (Yes).
  4. Clear your mind. Distract yourself for a few minutes. Watch a funny video, read something interesting, breathe, play with your kids….anything to take your mind off of it.
  5. Visualize. Once you’ve successfully stopped the worrying by acknowledging it and distracting yourself, come back to it. But this time, instead of focusing on the problem, focus on your desired outcome. Imagine things working out perfectly…how you’d feel, what your life would be like, as if you had already done it.

You can stop worrying using this same process. The reason that we worry is that our minds dwell on our problems instead of finding solutions. These steps will help you move beyond the problem to the solution. When you are focused on the positive outcome rather than the negative possibilities, you can’t possibly feel panicked or anxious. Instead, the answers to your problems will begin to appear, and your worry will melt away.

Have a joyful day!

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You Have Nothing To Worry About

Alright class, today we are going to study the concept of worry. First of all, let’s determine who should be worried.

If you have no problems in your life, you have nothing to worry about. So, everyone who has a problem free life, raise your hand. Anybody?

Well, it looks like nobody raised their hands.

So, if you DO have a problem in your life, you must have something to worry about, right? Raise your hand if you have a problem in your life.

Ok, that’s everyone. I’m even raising my own hand. Keep your hand in the air.

Now, if there’s nothing you can do about this problem, obviously there’s no reason to worry, right? Why worry about something you can’t control? That would be silly. So, if there’s nothing you can do about your problem, lower your hand. You have nothing to worry about.

That still leaves quite a few hands up. If yours is still in the air, you have a problem that you CAN do something about. You might not know WHAT to do, but you know that you have some control. If you take some sort of action, the problem will improve or go away. You can influence the problem, so why worry about something that you can influence? That would be silly.  So, if you have a problem that you CAN do something about, lower your hand. You have nothing to worry about.

Any hands left up?

Good.  Class dismissed!

Have a joyful day!

I post a new inspirational article every day of the week (except Sundays).  If you enjoyed today’s post, please consider subscribing by entering your email address below. Free daily motivation, delivered automatically to your email inbox!

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Daily Drive – Bend, Don’t Break

When hurricanes blow in to coastal areas, they can do devastating damage.  Houses are flattened.  Cars are tossed around like toys.  Trees are uprooted.

But not all trees.

When the storm is gone, often one of the few things left standing is the palm tree.  How can this be?  Is it stronger than other trees?  More rigid?  More aerodynamic?

No.  It simply bends.  Sometimes all the way down to the ground.

Instead of trying to resist the storm and stand strong like other trees, which causes them to snap, the palm tree allows the storm to blow through it rather than around it.  When the hurricane is gone, it pops back up, like nothing happened.

Learn from the palm tree.  When storms blow into your life, practice being calm.  Let the storm blow through you; do not resist it.  Instead of trying to fight back, practice your flexibility.  Let it bend you all the way down to the ground if need be, remembering that “this too shall pass.”

When the storm passes, pop back up and keep on going, like it never happened.  Bend, don’t break.

Have a joyful day!

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Daily Drive – Right Now

Right now is the moment you’re in. Nothing happens without action, and right now is the only period of time in which you can act.

Worry is a thought about the future.  It might or might not happen.  If it does, it might or might not be as bad as you think. No matter what, the world will keep on turning.  Something that may cause a problem in the future isn’t worth causing stress today.

Regret is a thought about the past.  It already happened.  You can’t go back and change it, and even though it happened, the world kept on turning. Something that happened in the past isn’t worth causing guilt today.

If you spend your time on regret and worry, you miss out on right now.  Right now children play at the park.  Right now, flowers are blooming.  Right now, art and music are being made. Right now, the entire world is working exactly as it was intended.

If you are fully present in the right now, you can’t worry about the future.  If you are completely engulfed in the right now, regrets from the past will pale in comparison to the magic of the current moment.

Look around you.  Marvel in everything wonderful in your life.  There are thousands of these magical “right now” moments every day.  Take action.  Do.  Create.  Live.  Enjoy.

Have a joyful day!

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Daily Drive – Save Yourself

I recently stumbled upon an article that did a very good job of summing up many of my teachings about life and personal development, titled “10 Simple Ways To Save Yourself From Messing Up Your Life”.

The author has some great thoughts and explanations of these different subjects, take a look, and share your thoughts in the comments section when you’re finished!

  1. Stop taking so much notice of how you feel. How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn’t cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.
  2. Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When your hair-trigger is primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.
  3. Ease up on the internal life commentary. If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, what this or that event really means. Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event really means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.
  4. Take no notice of your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway?
  5. Give up on feeling guilty. Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane.
  6. Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you. Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you.
  7. Stop keeping score. Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.
  8. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned. The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality.
  9. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions. To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.
  10. Don’t worry about your personality. You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part—usually through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way.
If you wanted to sum that whole list up, you could pretty much say this:  Let go.  Relax.  Chill.  Breathe.  And give yourself a break!

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Daily Drive – Stop Worrying

How much time do you spend worrying?  Worrying about what is going to happen, what the consequences of your actions will be, how something is going to turn out, or what might happen tomorrow?

Besides the mental anguish that you put yourself through, worrying has physical consequences as well.  Lack of sleep, anxiety, even depression can result from over worrying.  Has this worrying ever helped you make a substantial leap forward, or is it getting you caught in the minutiae of every day life and holding you back?

Now, I’d like you to compare for a moment the amount of time you spend worrying with the amount of time you spend planning, writing down your goals, and working on achieving those specific goals.  Where would your time be better invested?

Rather than staying up late worrying about what tomorrow will bring, make yourself channel that negative energy into something positive.  Sit down and write a bucket list, or a list of 100 goals you want to achieve in your lifetime.  Still worried? Pick 5 of those goals and write out a plan for what steps you can take to achieve them, then take one of those steps.

No amount of worry will solve your problem.  Has it ever? Acknowledge this fact and allow yourself to let go.  Focus on the positive things in your life and trust that things will work themselves out!

Are you a worrier? Share some tips on how you calm your mind in the comments below!

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